I apologise if the first few pages of this blog have been a bit of a crazy mixture of ideas and words. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure it all out as I go, trying to get a sense of what it is that I’m doing in general, never mind just in this writing piece. IN truth, I’m a pretty normal guy, I work for a Louisville roofing company, I spend my days at work and my nights at home relaxing and watching these characters I look up to at night, and then spend a few hours working on pieces to add here. I rinse and repeat. Maybe it’s this circular routine that I’m trying to break, but can’t seem to do it as myself, so I invent this alter persona to do it for me.
This person who knows all the answers, who can look at a puzzle and have it just be a matter of time before figuring it out. Because for me, I look at the puzzles of life, and have absolutely no idea what piece goes where. I stare and stare at the problems ahead and have no idea how to fix them. Do I need a change in life? Pack everything up and move to some new place, and start over as a new person? No matter where I go I will always be myself, and I will always face the same things that I do now. And I worry that no matter what I do, the answers will always be vague.
I will envision myself as the hero of my story, the nameless face in the crowd that does things that no one would expect. Who has the capability to change the world as we know it with a few keystrokes and a genius plan. The silent killer that roams the streets looking for a fresh big bad enemy to eliminate for the greater good. To be someone who has an impact on the world. Rather than just on peoples roofs when they call the company I work for. Who doesn’t eat his lunch hanging off some strangers house looking at the lives of those who pass by with curiosity and a little envy.
Not that my life is bad, I really don’t want that to be the message I leave on this blog, I don’t hate my life, I just wish it was infused with a little more excitement. To make an impact on the world around me in some form of meaningful if even anonymous way. Who knows where my life will lead me, maybe if I want that life bad enough I should start studying, but then again, that life is kind of illegal, so maybe I should be thankful to just be in the life I am, and see what is laying around the corner for me. Who knows? Maybe you. Maybe you need to reply and let me know, maybe the person holding the pills is reading this right now.